Mini Vanilla Tin Can Cake, and a Blogiversary

  Bad and good boyfriends, up and down hormones, driving across the country, 2 different college campuses, tiny kitchen apartments, bad and good days, this blog has been around for a lot of milestones and life changes.

  5 years ago today I created something that I honestly had no idea could've lasted so long.  Indigo Scones has pushed my creativity, patience, and organizational skills.  And I couldn't be happier with it.

Extra Dark Brown Butter Snickerdoodles

  I thought I'd found it.  I'd been to every advisor, run through every career test, and taken a wide variety of classes.  Walking down the stairwell of a library, I sent a group text to my family, trying to be happy with the announcement of my double major after so many undeclared semesters.

  Seconds after I reread the text, I stopped walking.  None of it felt genuine, none of it felt like me.  I saw books I didn't want to read, people I couldn't seem to fit in with or relate to, and so so much quiet stress bouncing around the numerous floors of the building.  Students in literal cells surrounded by books cramming their brains with something, all in an effort to make it in this world.

  I don't even know what making it means anymore.  A good job?  High-paying salary?  A resume?  A degree?

Roasted Parmesan Acorn Squash with Golden Smashed Potatoes

  I saw a lot of my summer through rose-colored glasses.  

  But now, autumn is telling me that as beautiful as those rose-tinted moments were, everything was not as it seemed.  That's the thing about seeing the world through a tinted lens, it's short-term, and more often than not hides a fairly black and white reality.

Coconut Sticky Rice with Mango

  I'd forgotten how much I like the process of things.  Things meaning food, and the making thereof.  I feel like coming out of school I was a directionless, lifeless mess that needed a solid month of detox.  Finals and life happenings whooped me real good.

  This meant that my kitchen suffered a little bit.  I had just dropped a solid amount of money on a new computer, I was spending a couple of weeks working 2 jobs while I was working on putting in my two weeks as a barista, and then I spent a lot of time stressing out over how on earth I was going to make a living off of tips by shoving burgers at people's faces.  Also, do I know where or whom I'll be living with once my lease ends in August?  Nope.  Sure don't.

  I'm figuring it out.

Salted Chocolate Peanut Butter Brownies

  I'm winding down fast, folks.  I love school, learning, and all that fun stuff--but the tail end of this semester is absolutely relentless with all of its decisions, expectations, and unpredictable happenings.  Caught in these situations, I tend to overeat and feel very numb.  Class notes are a thing of the past, and even scrolling through happy Pinterest things doesn't appeal to me.  I have projects on projects and I'm not doing anything.  Whoops.  Enter Spotted Cow and Gilmore Girls, and lots of sweet potato fries.

  But between these bouts I'm generally pretty productive.  Sunday night, for example, I spent on the 3rd floor of the library, and I mean literally cross-legged on the floor, studying until I couldn't physically see and the place was closing.  

  Balance, balance.

Malted Milk Rice Krispies

  FRIENDS.  I'm writing I'm writing I'm not writing a paper, I'm not writing because I have to, I'm not writing to be persuasive or grammatically correct or to utilize my critical thinking skills I'm just WRITING.  I'm writing because I want to talk to you and I want to wax poetic about things like rice krispy treats.

  I missed you.

Dark Chocolate Banana Breakfast Bars & 4 Years(!!)

  I'm in a pretty solid melancholic trance these days.  New Year's and Christmas, old face new faces, first semester at a new school finished with still no clear path in sight, the ups and downs involving matters of the heart.  I'll admit it, I'm pretty rocked.  I'm watching my parents build the house they've always wanted and will probably grow old in.  I'm watching my little sis navigate her life and take care of a dog that managed to steal my heart freshman year of college when I ran back home to meet her sweet puppy face.  My older sisters never cease to amaze me, watching their respective journeys over 2015 has been fantastic.  I'm so glad for them and who they are.

  And me?  Considering the fact that this time last year I was a hot mess living in my parent's mobile home looking for a job, daydreaming about hot desert suns, and having panic attacks while filling out my college transfer paperwork, I'd say I've come pretty damn far.