It's been an age since I posted just for the sake of posting. I've been stressing myself out, week after week, to just bake/cook something so I could have an excuse to write. I'm kind of realizing how silly that is, how it causes me to lose sight of the fact that I actually started this blog because I truly enjoy being in the kitchen.
Truth is, I'm just busy. But it's not just busy, because really, we're all busy. It's also that I don't feel like organizing my busy-ness. I don't want to prioritize. Something about writing that out makes me feel 10x lazier than I know I really am.
I've sort of been taking time for other things, lately. Right now I'm charged with living an introvert's dream and occupying an empty house for a little while, which also comes with this gorgeous dog. This house is in my old hometown, and it's a little weird driving these familiar roads regularly again, mostly because it hasn't been quite long enough for them to earn the title "old."
And in a small way, I'm living a little bit of a dream. Learning the ins and outs of being a barista has not been easy. If there's one thing I've learned so far this year, it's that life does not work around you. It happens regardless of what the hell you're doing and where you're at. 'Someday' does not exist. It's all here, it's all now. If you're living for the past, you're a drag. If you're living for some distant future goal, you won't even realize it when it finally hits you between the eyes. Your hair will never be what you want it to be, your skin will never be perfect. You may never find that inner peace, or the best boyfriend. You'll never have the wardrobe of your dreams, because those things are all just that, dreams. While it would be amazing if dreams and real life could somehow coincide a little better, a lot of the time they just don't. Otherwise there wouldn't be two separate words setting them apart, giving each its own unique set of characteristics. The pros and cons that make up dreams and realities are all worth living for.
This is a constant, daily struggle for me. Learning to accept and love both the daydreams in my head and the world happening around me. Trying not to let one drown out the other. Learning that life is, actually, kind of just constant chaos. And that's okay.
I mean, I may have some spotty skin and supremely tired eyes most of the time now, but I also get to point my camera at food and get compensated for it. I'm learning to work with others, to take charge of situations. I'm working near the neighborhood that soon, very soon I'll be living in. I am both excited and terrified that I'll have a space to finally call my own.
I most definitely do not have life figured out. And actually, I think that's all you really need to know to have it figured out. You need to figure out that you can't have it figured out, because you never really know what's coming. It's a weird kind of paradox that I'm learning to accept.
Adult life, man...it's crazy.
I think this little diddy I came across forever ago sums all of this up pretty well. I kind of want to meet the person who made it.
Have a great week, friends.
